The $50 Lesson

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat  as they returned home from walking their dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what  would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed with pride!

"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and  mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and  I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery  store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you  can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she  looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents aren't speaking to me.

Thoughtsjustoffcenter: Not a true story, yet it does make sense. Have a good laugh today, and everyday. It helps keep you focused on what is important in life. If you don't laugh at the funny things in life, poeple will eventually be laughing at you. Maybe not to your face, yet they will still be laughing.

Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller 01/18/2012

Thoughtsjustoffcenter: That's becoming my response too!

Obama Humor

Thoughtsjustoffcenter: Although each of these hurt, just a little, they are funny, I'm trying to start the day out with some truth and laughter.

So, PLEASE - try not to cry -

found on the internet at LMAO

Humor from the Internet

How to Start Each Day With a Positive Outlook

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it “Barack Obama.”

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Barack Obama?”

6. Firmly Click “Yes.”

7. Feel better?

PS: Tomorrow we’ll do Nancy Pelosi, the next Harry Reid, then Patty Murry, then...

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how
is everything going ?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have
just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two
out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on
branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in
pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc She felt that having only two
breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you
know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only
half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation ?' 'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a
man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?'

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than the rib story?

I think I'd better read Genesis again, I might have missed something.

Thoughtsjustoffcenter: There is stuff out there, in the "ether world" that can make you smile. Just thought I would pass it on to whomever reads this blog. Have a wonderful day! 

Political Humor

Twelve Days of Christmas



Thoughtsjustoffcenter: You can use the 'You Tube' link or the video - your choice. I have to put some humor in here, as the administration is making turning me into a "frowny face."

The $100 Bill

Finally someone explains it in simple terms!

It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town now thinks that they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.

And that, my friends, is how a "stimulus package" works!

Thoughtsjustoffcenter comments: Thanks Keith!

A Very Good Catholic Joke!

The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....

Show me!" �


So - - - the Pope backhanded him, and knocking him off the stage!

AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was Happiness  Yhroughout The Land!

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Thoughtsjustoffcenter comments: Thanks Sis!

Dragnet 2010

Pardoning The Turkey

OK - I had to post this - I can't help myself. - - - - - No pardon here! Off with the head and pluck them feathers, or as in survival school - you skin them to keep from eating the parisites.

Oh Great Leader - "Riddle Me This"

I have seen, and heard, a lot of stupid things in my life, yet here is another one that "takes the cake."

The leader of our country using his brain (another goof).








"Try closing the umbrella, you dork!"






"Mr Soros, Another mistake." "You know you have to keep this guy under supervision at all times."

Thanks Brad!

Something That's Not Really Funny -

As a Veteran - I send a LARGE Thank You to my family of Veterans, Friends, and all other Veterans. Thank You for standing up for America!

Some Humor for the Day

I've got some catching up to do, here's a start. The news media covering the story, as normal. Jerks!

Political Television Ad

From my friend at:

Thanks Brad!

Another hit out of the park - if he was running here in Colorado Springs. He'd have my vote.  The DemocRATS are trying to get the media to take this ad off the air.

From LMAObama.com

 

The problem is, the DemocRATS constantly lie and twist the history of our government and country and continue to get away with it. It makes my blood boil to see and hear so many citizens that believe their lies and deeds of decipt, because they are to lazy to conduct and research to find out that they are being lied to.

Sometimes I just need to take a time out. That's why you find gaps in my daily posts or lack thereof.

Sunday Comics

Cartoon of the Day

Ray Stevens Hits it Again

What Political Party are You Affiliated With?

See Cowboy & Tea Parties post of October 01, 2011.  I've seen it before, yet it's still funny!

http://cowboys-and-tea-parties.blogspot.com/

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The Best Movie Line EVER!

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